Dear reader:
I use reader in the singular because I am fairly certain that only my parents are going to read this, and they only count as one person. So.
Dear reader:
I would like to introduce this blog with a disclaimer that these stories are based on true events. For those of you who don’t understand the implications of that phrase, it means that the basis of and inspiration for these stories are based in fact, and because real life isn’t as fun as imaginary life, I have taken creative liberties with the details of the stories so as not to lull you to sleep. If you are looking for a book to fall asleep to, I recommend the Bible. I find it very boring, and that is because the whole thing is 100% historically accurate. If any of you think that I lose my credibility as a writer by refusing to lifelessly recount the events of my life like a damn chapter of Thucydides, I would like to remind you snobs that Schindler’s List, and Erin Brockovich, and Remember the Titans, and the Imitation Game, are all based on true events and so if you like those movies (and I know you do because all snobs do), that would make you HYPOCRITES. Just like Hippocrates was when he performed the world’s first surgery with a scalpel that was a sharpened crucifix for good luck*. The point is, I am studying theatre at Academia dell’arte in Arezzo, Italy for a semester (100% fact) and I would be a terrible theatre student if I thought that life exactly as it is was sufficiently interesting. So, curl up with a blanket, put your pet monkey in its cage, and shut the windows so that the gunfire of the gorilla-robot wars doesn’t distract you from my stories.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling
p.s. if you still don’t think that a blog based on true events is worth your time, you can read my sister’s blog, which truthfully describes her experience as a peace corp volunteer who has dedicated two years of her life to helping an impoverished peruvian community and it’s SO BORING. http://kasselestaenperu.blogspot.com
*based on true events
